I have debated over and over with myself whether or not to post this on my blog. I know I will read and reread this post before publishing it. I pray that speaking out about my life and experience will help someone. Even just one person. Maybe a family member trying to understand what their brother, sister, mother or father may be going through…Anyone…
October was Depression Awareness month. As much as this post is about my life, I’ve decided to make it informational. Everyone should know how depression can effect someone’s life. Depression alone is difficult and many people have other symptoms such as general anxiety or panic disorders.
This episode of depression has been horrible. It has worn me out and broken me down. The pain and darkness depression brings are not new to me at all. I’ve gone through this many times in the last decade. I can say that every time is just as painful and dreadful as the last. Even if you can feel it coming on, even if you seek help right away, sometimes it is difficult to stop before you are sucked into complete blackness. I describe it almost as an abyss that you sink into or a black hole with no way to climb out.
It’s like they show in movies, the actor or actress hanging on to a ledge by one hand…Slipping slowly. You see the terror on their face. You see them losing their grip. Barely holding on by a few fingers, their nails digging into the ground. Their is someone standing over them, trying desperately to pull them up and out of danger, but there is nothing that can stop them from falling…The ground gives way and suddenly they disappear…
Depression or any kind of “mental” illness is such a personal thing. You can’t “see” it as you would a physical illness like cancer or diabetes. I want everyone to be aware, though. I promise you, although you can’t actually see it, it is there. It happens to so many people every year. These statistics are hard to argue over. “Depressive disorders affect approximately 18.8 million American adults or about 9.5% of the U.S. population age 18 and older in a given year. This includes major depressive disorder, dysthymic disorder, and bipolar disorder.” {http://www.upliftprogram.com/depression_stats.html} 18.8 Million people. That is a huge number.
I am one of those people. I work to keep myself from falling down again. It’s not always easy. But I’m still here and the fight is not over. October may have come and gone like any other month of the year. Any month that could be painful and exhausting for someone you know. Depression doesn’t wait for October. Remember that. Although you may not understand how depression feels to another person, show them that you are there. You can make a difference in the day of someone experiencing depression in the most simple ways. Having someone to listen patiently when you are feeling awful is a wonderful thing. An unexpected phone call or a funny greeting card can bring your spirit up, even if just for a few minutes. Anything, no matter how small it may seem, can be huge to a person who feels crushed by the world. Trust me. I know…